As someone who tried to commit suicide I can tell you firsthand that you are in a dark place. Sadly dark does not even begin to describe it. Depression falls short of explaining it. We live in a society full of extremes that words and phrases once used to describe things have lost their true meaning. Everyone is now depressed because their favorite show ended, or because the ice cream is gone. We can’t just be sad or annoyed, no in order to let everyone know the level of our despair over a television show ending or our car breaking down we must be depressed and completely forlorn.
You can throw the word depression around flippantly, being depressed one day and not be depressed the next but depression is not something that easily lets you go. It does not allow you to be OK one minute and not the next. It sits there sometimes in the front of your mind sometimes in the back but always present. I cannot speak for everyone who has suffered from depression and tried to commit suicide but for me I just could not take the poking and sadness anymore.
There was this ever constant poking never shouting but always poking. “You suck, why can’t you get it right, look there again you failed, why do you even bother, they are right you know you will never amount to anything, one day people will see you for what you are, if they could see in your head they would hate you even more, you cannot win” and on and on and on….
I need to stop now because it was too much for me and I can only talk about it a little before it starts to get overwhelming again.
In short Robin Williams makes the third suicide I have heard about in one week. Everyone seems to be at least some what affected by this so I would suggest that one thing everyone can do to raise awareness about suicide is stop using so many extremes. This way when we do see/hear them they will be the signs we know to look for and not just common language drowning out the voice of those who are actually crying.
Just a thought,