Trust

Finding Faith in the Whisper: What to Do When God Doesn’t Answer

/ Mike Farley / Leave a comment

We all have stories of times when God didn’t answer our prayers. Times when we stood in faith, asked God to move, and expected Him to act—but He didn’t. The job didn’t come through. The loved one passed away. The finances didn’t work out.

These experiences often leave us feeling disappointed or confused about God. And that disappointment can keep us at a distance from Him. You may have heard someone say (or said yourself): “God let me down” or “God and I had a deal, and He broke His end.”

Is It Normal to Feel Disappointed with God?

First, let me assure you—it’s okay to have these feelings. Sometimes we don’t get to understand what God is doing. We crave answers, but God doesn’t promise to give us all the answers to every question we ask.

Look at Job in the Bible. He never received answers to his questions about why he suffered. The truth is, it’s not always about getting the answer; it’s about learning faith in the unknown. We can learn how to process our disappointment and confusion and follow God better.

The God Who Whispers

In 1 Kings 19, we find Elijah hiding in a cave, afraid and disappointed. God asks him, “What are you doing here?” and Elijah pours out his heart. Then God tells him to go stand on the mountain:

“A great and mighty wind was tearing the mountains and shattering the cliffs before the Lord. But the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, there was a voice, a soft whisper.”

God wasn’t in the dramatic displays of power—the wind, earthquake, or fire. He was in the gentle whisper. This reveals something profound about the God we serve: sometimes God shouts, but often He whispers.

Why a Whisper Matters More Than You Think

A whisper is intimate. It requires closeness. Unlike a mighty wind that can flatten buildings from a distance, a whisper requires you to be near. While a hurricane can reverse the flow of the Mississippi River whether you’re paying attention or not, a whisper must be received.

An earthquake will shake you regardless of your readiness. A fire consumes everything in its path. But a gentle whisper brings calm. It’s tender, mild, and inviting rather than demanding. A whisper is an invitation, not a command.

We live in a noisy world where we expect immediate answers to every question. But God doesn’t work that way. The truest questions—the ones that really afflict our souls—are only answered in the quiet, in the God who whispers to us.

Sometimes in the whisper, God gives us answers. Sometimes He doesn’t. But the whisper isn’t meant to bring an answer to every question—it’s meant to reassure us that He’s present and close.

When the Whisper Doesn’t Change Everything

Interestingly, after Elijah heard God’s whisper, God asked him the same question again: “What are you doing here?” And Elijah gave the exact same answer as before. The whisper didn’t immediately take away his disappointment or fear.

But Elijah kept listening. He continued knowing God was with him. That’s what God wanted to develop in Elijah, and it’s what He wants to develop in us—the belief that He is who He says He is and that He’s near to us.

As theologian David Martin Lloyd Jones said, “Faith says, I cannot believe that He who has brought me this far is going to let me down at this point. It would be inconsistent with the character of God.”

Faith Is Wrestling, Not Certainty

Faith is not the absence of doubt but wrestling with doubt. In Psalm 13:1-2, David cries out:

“O Lord, how long will you forget me forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy have the upper hand?”

Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever asked God, “How long, Lord? Haven’t I taken enough by now?”

Faith is wrestling. It’s not about having all the answers or knowing the “why” behind everything. It’s about trusting when we cannot see. Faith is moving forward, understanding that doubt will always be present to some degree.

How Do We Handle Disappointment with God?

Here are three practical ways to handle disappointment and grief in your relationship with God:

1. Ask Questions

Not every question can be answered, but we should still ask them. Ask the truest questions, even the ones that scare you to say out loud. In Psalm 13, David asks hard questions without getting answers, yet he concludes: “I have trusted in your faithful love. My heart will rejoice in your deliverance.”

2. Be Honest

Be honest about how you’re feeling. There’s actually a physiological benefit to expressing your emotions honestly. Different tears contain different chemical compositions based on the emotions that trigger them. If you don’t address these feelings, your body holds onto that stress.

3. Own Your Feelings, But Don’t Let Them Own You

This may be the hardest of all. We will always have feelings—things happen, and we react. The trick is learning how to respond.

Feel the feeling you’re feeling. Own it. It might be wrong, but that’s okay. If you’re mad or frustrated, admit it. Be honest about that feeling, but don’t let that feeling control your actions. Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.”

Developing “Even If” Faith

When we learn to settle in the wrestling, we develop what I call “even if” faith:

  • I will trust even if I’m confused
  • I will trust even if I don’t see
  • I will trust even if I’m scared
  • I will trust even if I don’t have the answers
  • I will trust even if I’m disappointed

Remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? We love that God rescued them from the fiery furnace. But their faith wasn’t based on rescue. They said, “But even if He does not rescue us, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods” (Daniel 3:18).

Similarly, Queen Esther said, “If I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16). This is the kind of faith God is developing in His people—an “even if” faith.

The Role of Humility

Humility is foundational to this wrestling. It means accepting that we don’t have all the answers. It means acknowledging that God is God and we are not.

How often do we get frustrated because we told God what we wanted, and He didn’t obey? That’s pride. The reality is, God knows far more than we do.

Deuteronomy 29:29 says, “The hidden things belong to the Lord our God, but the revealed things belong to us and our children.” Some things are for God alone to know, and some things are for us. Humility accepts this distinction.

Just as parents understand things their children cannot comprehend, God knows more than we do. He sees the big picture—how today’s events might impact generations 200 years from now.

Life Application

Disappointment and confusion are inevitable parts of our faith journey. The enemy wants to use these feelings to keep us away from God, but God wants to use them to draw us closer to Him. Who will you listen to?

When you’re frustrated, confused, or don’t know the answer, press into Jesus. Listen for His gentle whisper. Know that He’s close and that He cares.

Ask yourself these questions this week:

  1. What disappointment am I holding onto that’s keeping me from drawing closer to God?
  2. Am I trying to force God to give me answers, or am I willing to trust Him even without understanding?
  3. How can I practice listening for God’s whisper in the midst of life’s noise?
  4. What would “even if” faith look like in my current situation?

Remember, it’s not always about getting the answer. It’s about learning faith in the unknown and trusting the God who whispers.

Encountering God on the Kentucky Flyer

/ Mike Farley / Leave a comment

I do not like roller coasters. I do not find them enjoyable and I usually feel like I am going to pass out. So, I avoid them unless compelled. That being said recently at Kentucky Kingdom for my daughter’s birthday I felt compelled. It was not my daughter because she does not like them either and it was not my wife. It was a feeling inside saying do it. I shook the feeling a few times because I felt it was a ridiculous thought. As we were getting ready to leave, I told my wife I wanted to ride the Kentucky Flyer. There are no upside downs so I figured maybe I could handle it. The line moved quickly which was nice and the next thing I knew we were seated and chugging to the top. We dropped down and the first half of the ride was everything I hate. My eyes were closed, my heart was racing, and my hands were clenched so tight to the seat I was afraid I might rip something. Then I heard my Father.

I had been praying 1 Peter 5:6 for about a week because life is a little chaotic right now. It is all good but chaotic. We had been in Kentucky for missions training for 2 weeks at that point. We don’t have normal jobs anymore and we are trusting God for our daily bread in new and exciting ways. Halfway through the ride, I felt God say trust. So, I quickly said, “I humble myself under the mighty hand of God and He will exalt me in due time.” With that, I let go opened my eyes and threw my hands in the air. The ride changed or rather I changed.

What started as something I hate turned into an encounter with the living God and I was crying on the roller coaster. Not because I was scared but because God was showing me how much He loves and protects me. I was in His hand more than I was in a seat whipping around corners. God was holding me and revealing something about Himself to me.

I could tell you that life is like a roller coaster or that life is an adventure but instead, I want to say life is life. What yours will look like or feel like is up to you and God. Yes, you both have a part to play. Life will never feel like a roller coaster or an adventure if you don’t step out and trust Him. That is unless He decides to push you but that’s a different message. Life can be freighting and uncertain but only if you are stepping out into the unknown and trusting God to lead you. It has to be that way because we have to learn to trust, obey and humble ourselves under His mighty hand. God wants you to lean into Him so we can truly know Him. This means He doesn’t give us the whole picture and make everything OK from the word GO. It has to be a process and that is OK because if we embrace the process and press into the Father, we encounter Him in ways we never can outside of trusting in the storms and chaos. It is so worth it to take the ride because in the end, we have something that is beyond anything the world can offer. We encounter the living God and have intimacy with the one who sustains the universe. That is just awesome in the truest sense of the word.

Just a thought,

Mike

Foolishness

/ Mike Farley / Leave a comment

Sometimes I do foolish things. This one time I thought it would be a good idea to dye my hair red. The problem is my hair was recently bleached so instead of red it was like a flame. It was red on the bottom, but it got lighter towards the tips. It was not my best look. Another time (about 3 years) I wore Jnco style jeans. It was not a good look and I am glad there are no pictures. Other times I do what look like foolish things, but I am doing them in obedience.

Right now, as a family, we are working on something big. It is big in terms of what it is, what it will accomplish, and what it will cost. We were approached about postponing it a bit but the more we spoke and prayed about the more postponing it felt wrong. Postponing it would make more sense, but God has already opened up so many doors that should be shut but he keeps flinging them wide open. It feels like we are giving Him and out by postponing it and we have no peace about it. Do you ever do that? Maybe it is just us, but sometimes we like to give God and out. We say things like, if it is your will, if You want to God, or something similar. It is not that those things are wrong to say or pray but when you know God is calling or saying something it does become wrong.

So, we are going to be fools for Christ and I think that puts us in good company. Paul and the other Apostles were fools for Jesus. David was a fool for God. Early missionaries to China, India, and other parts of the world were fools for God, thousands of missionaries around the world are fools every day. People all the time are fools for Christ by daring to believe Him for the impossible. 1 Corinthians 1:27 says that God chose the foolish things to shame the wise, and the weak to shame the strong. Right now, we know God is calling us to do something foolish in the eyes of some. It is huge but so is He. The thing is if you cannot trust God for the impossible what can you trust Him for? If you can believe that Christ lived a sinless life, died on a cross, and rose again three days later can you trust Him for a miracle now?

We are doing something foolish but I think we should all be willing to be fools for Jesus.

Just a thought,

Mike

Time Anxiety

/ Mike Farley / Leave a comment

Every once in a while, I like to get a little personal and today is one of those days. Lately, I have realized I struggle with some time anxiety. I hate wasting time. I am not entirely sure why but something about wasting time just feels so wrong to me. I feel like I have so much to do, to learn, to give that wasting time feels wrong. Because of this, I feel overwhelmed by the number of things to do, to learn, and the needs that need to be met. It does not help that I am a doer either. I am able to get things done and usually in a short amount of time. People usually pick up on this (at least at work) and come to me for help and to take things off their plate. This too only exacerbates the problem.

Lately, the problem is only growing because we are getting ready to move to Knoxville. I am going to go to school full time so I can finish up my degree in 2 years. The idea of working at my current job which is very time demanding and going to school full time has sent my time anxiety into overdrive. I have been trying to find a way to not have to work but unless $10-20k shows up in the mailbox I am stuck. So, what do I do? I start spiraling into time issues. I won’t have enough time to study, to fellowship, to learn, to enjoy my wife and daughter, to enjoy the process, and so on. It quickly becomes overwhelming.

It is not that this is a new revelation to me but there is something that is new. Last night I realized this again but also had a thought of “this is not good; God I need you to help me with this.” It was a moment where I realized I had a choice to make. I could again acknowledge my time issues take, God’s grace in the moment, and move on only to face this again next week or I could receive His grace to work through the problem. I want to work through it.

I get two verses of the day. Today they were James 1:5 and Ecclesiastes 7:14.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:5

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this:
God has made the one as well as the other.
Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future. – Ecclesiastes 7:14

These verses spoke such life into me because I was reminded of three things. First, God listens not looking down on us because we are weak but wants to answer the prayers of His children. Second, I need to seek Him to help me with my problem. Third, time is His to hold and command not mine. I want to enjoy the process, but more than that I want to enjoy God. I want to feel His presence, His nearness and know that even when I don’t feel Him He is near.

So now what? Well, I am a firm believer that God will always continue the good work He starts in someone. So I am going to try and keep coming back to Him every time I start to get overwhelmed. I am also going to try and start coming to God before I get overwhelmed and put my “schedule” in His hands. If I trust Him like I say I do then I need to be willing to give Him everything and that includes my time anxiety.

It does not mean it will all just go away because usually, we find that we are actually working through bigger issues but I am OK with that. I trust that God knows best and that He will lead me through my time anxiety. I trust that He wants to mold me into something better. I trust He is good and that He has a plan. I trust that He is God.

Just a thought,

Mike