We all have stories of times when God didn’t answer our prayers. Times when we stood in faith, asked God to move, and expected Him to act—but He didn’t. The job didn’t come through. The loved one passed away. The finances didn’t work out.

These experiences often leave us feeling disappointed or confused about God. And that disappointment can keep us at a distance from Him. You may have heard someone say (or said yourself): “God let me down” or “God and I had a deal, and He broke His end.”

Is It Normal to Feel Disappointed with God?

First, let me assure you—it’s okay to have these feelings. Sometimes we don’t get to understand what God is doing. We crave answers, but God doesn’t promise to give us all the answers to every question we ask.

Look at Job in the Bible. He never received answers to his questions about why he suffered. The truth is, it’s not always about getting the answer; it’s about learning faith in the unknown. We can learn how to process our disappointment and confusion and follow God better.

The God Who Whispers

In 1 Kings 19, we find Elijah hiding in a cave, afraid and disappointed. God asks him, “What are you doing here?” and Elijah pours out his heart. Then God tells him to go stand on the mountain:

“A great and mighty wind was tearing the mountains and shattering the cliffs before the Lord. But the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, there was a voice, a soft whisper.”

God wasn’t in the dramatic displays of power—the wind, earthquake, or fire. He was in the gentle whisper. This reveals something profound about the God we serve: sometimes God shouts, but often He whispers.

Why a Whisper Matters More Than You Think

A whisper is intimate. It requires closeness. Unlike a mighty wind that can flatten buildings from a distance, a whisper requires you to be near. While a hurricane can reverse the flow of the Mississippi River whether you’re paying attention or not, a whisper must be received.

An earthquake will shake you regardless of your readiness. A fire consumes everything in its path. But a gentle whisper brings calm. It’s tender, mild, and inviting rather than demanding. A whisper is an invitation, not a command.

We live in a noisy world where we expect immediate answers to every question. But God doesn’t work that way. The truest questions—the ones that really afflict our souls—are only answered in the quiet, in the God who whispers to us.

Sometimes in the whisper, God gives us answers. Sometimes He doesn’t. But the whisper isn’t meant to bring an answer to every question—it’s meant to reassure us that He’s present and close.

When the Whisper Doesn’t Change Everything

Interestingly, after Elijah heard God’s whisper, God asked him the same question again: “What are you doing here?” And Elijah gave the exact same answer as before. The whisper didn’t immediately take away his disappointment or fear.

But Elijah kept listening. He continued knowing God was with him. That’s what God wanted to develop in Elijah, and it’s what He wants to develop in us—the belief that He is who He says He is and that He’s near to us.

As theologian David Martin Lloyd Jones said, “Faith says, I cannot believe that He who has brought me this far is going to let me down at this point. It would be inconsistent with the character of God.”

Faith Is Wrestling, Not Certainty

Faith is not the absence of doubt but wrestling with doubt. In Psalm 13:1-2, David cries out:

“O Lord, how long will you forget me forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy have the upper hand?”

Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever asked God, “How long, Lord? Haven’t I taken enough by now?”

Faith is wrestling. It’s not about having all the answers or knowing the “why” behind everything. It’s about trusting when we cannot see. Faith is moving forward, understanding that doubt will always be present to some degree.

How Do We Handle Disappointment with God?

Here are three practical ways to handle disappointment and grief in your relationship with God:

1. Ask Questions

Not every question can be answered, but we should still ask them. Ask the truest questions, even the ones that scare you to say out loud. In Psalm 13, David asks hard questions without getting answers, yet he concludes: “I have trusted in your faithful love. My heart will rejoice in your deliverance.”

2. Be Honest

Be honest about how you’re feeling. There’s actually a physiological benefit to expressing your emotions honestly. Different tears contain different chemical compositions based on the emotions that trigger them. If you don’t address these feelings, your body holds onto that stress.

3. Own Your Feelings, But Don’t Let Them Own You

This may be the hardest of all. We will always have feelings—things happen, and we react. The trick is learning how to respond.

Feel the feeling you’re feeling. Own it. It might be wrong, but that’s okay. If you’re mad or frustrated, admit it. Be honest about that feeling, but don’t let that feeling control your actions. Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.”

Developing “Even If” Faith

When we learn to settle in the wrestling, we develop what I call “even if” faith:

• I will trust even if I’m confused
• I will trust even if I don’t see
• I will trust even if I’m scared
• I will trust even if I don’t have the answers
• I will trust even if I’m disappointed

Remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? We love that God rescued them from the fiery furnace. But their faith wasn’t based on rescue. They said, “But even if He does not rescue us, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods” (Daniel 3:18).

Similarly, Queen Esther said, “If I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16). This is the kind of faith God is developing in His people—an “even if” faith.

The Role of Humility

Humility is foundational to this wrestling. It means accepting that we don’t have all the answers. It means acknowledging that God is God and we are not.

How often do we get frustrated because we told God what we wanted, and He didn’t obey? That’s pride. The reality is, God knows far more than we do.

Deuteronomy 29:29 says, “The hidden things belong to the Lord our God, but the revealed things belong to us and our children.” Some things are for God alone to know, and some things are for us. Humility accepts this distinction.

Just as parents understand things their children cannot comprehend, God knows more than we do. He sees the big picture—how today’s events might impact generations 200 years from now.

Life Application

Disappointment and confusion are inevitable parts of our faith journey. The enemy wants to use these feelings to keep us away from God, but God wants to use them to draw us closer to Him. Who will you listen to?

When you’re frustrated, confused, or don’t know the answer, press into Jesus. Listen for His gentle whisper. Know that He’s close and that He cares.

Ask yourself these questions this week:

1. What disappointment am I holding onto that’s keeping me from drawing closer to God?
2. Am I trying to force God to give me answers, or am I willing to trust Him even without understanding?
3. How can I practice listening for God’s whisper in the midst of life’s noise?
4. What would “even if” faith look like in my current situation?

Remember, it’s not always about getting the answer. It’s about learning faith in the unknown and trusting the God who whispers.